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May 18, 2012

Poop Magic

Time for tails.....but this is all true.  I've discovered that Frankie is a magician.  Okay, okay, not literally truth but it's true that Frankie produces magic in the form of little dark poops.

I am no farmer.  I suck at gardening.  I have killed more outdoor plants, flowers and vegegetable growing plants than the average Southern woman.  It's not a well kept secret. My husband knows all too well that I've attempted garden after garden.  Every year buy top soil, fertilizer, seeds, plants, cow compost, mushroom compost and so on and so on.  I try. 

Maybe there is faint successes at a few tomato plants and marigold flowers.  I've eaten a few tomatoes that manages to survive my gardening.  I've even eaten a few of my home grown squash harvested before the bugs and worms overtook the plants. Small triumphs.

Frankie grew this squash plant that defied all rational explanations.  I didn't' plant it.  It just started growing just off the corner of his favorite summer basking area.  Within a month of showing up it sprouted HUGE fruits.

Meanwhile, my pathetic squash plants were dying when Frankie's plant was throwing dozens of plump squash. His squash ultimately ended up as cricket food.  Greg wouldn't eat Frankie's squash because the plant was directly down stream of Frankie's summer poop swamp.

Suddenly I looked at Frankie's poop in a whole other light.  I started collecting Frankie's poop and composting it.

That was two years ago.  This summer I put in three tomato plants, three strawberry plants, a few peas and cucumber plants in small plot that is now 10 inches deep in Frankie composed poop.  Several spontaneous Frankie pumpkin plants showed up (I didn't plant them).

The whole plot is going crazy. The tomato plants are over three feet tall and so thick I can barely get in to count what look like dozens and dozens of fast growing little green tomatoes.  The pumpkin plants are spilling over into the driveway.  I've eaten all the early strawberries.  The cucumbers and peas are fighting the tomato plants for growing room.

Frankie's poop is magic! Organic, herbicide free, fertilizer free, home pooped from a naturally fed sulcata tortoise.

Every day I go outside to gather up the magic Frankie poop for composting.

I had to bribe Frankie with a cuttlebone this morning so I could collect four HUGE black steamy poops from underneath his shell.

I need those things so MOVE Frankie.

Go eat more grass, Frankie and next year I will grow corn and carrots.  We split those 50/50.   I get 50% for the kitchen table and you get the rest for snacks.


1 comment:

  1. yes. the ones that steam have extra super powers! hahaha!
    good story Leann!