A sulcata can rearrange patio furniture and most anything else in the backyard.
If you have a big yard with lots of weed and grass, sulcata are cheaper to feed than dogs.
Sulcata poop can be flung like a missile, unlike dog or cat poop.
A sulcata won't keep the neighbors up all night barking.
Your friends and family aren't allergic to your sulcata.
Keeping a sulcata encourages you to have more fiber and vegetables in your diet.
When you grow your own "weed" for a sulcata, it's not illegal.
Every ten to fifteen years you are not burying a beloved pet - sulcata will live as long as you live!
(Read fan contributions to the "list" on comments below. Add your own!)