Scent of a Turtle

Scent of a Woman:  I like that movie.  My favorite part isn't the Colonel's speech at the school.  My favorite part is the restaurant scene.  We'll get back to that.

This morning's weather was exceptional:  cool air, clear sky, sunny.  Just the break I needed to get some back yard chores done, a chance for the box turtles to spend time in their outside habitat, and perfect for digging up worms for turtles.

Besides my own two box turtles, I am rehabbing a two year old wild box turtle who was chewed up by a dog.  Iz, the victim box turtle, is healing well but his back legs don't yet carry weight. 

Momma Turtle and Big Turtle (with me for 15+ years) were dropped into their outdoor habitat. The little rehab turtle, Iz, needs some outdoor exercise time so he gets to stay with me.  Iz and I head into the yard to dig up worms for all the box turtles.

Not yet mentioned here but a force to be reckoned with is the 100 pound Frankie the sulcata tortoise: this is his backyard.  Frankie often sleeps in late and I hoped he would be still be sleeping when I am dig up worms.  Regretfully, Frankie too is enjoying the cool morning and is basking by the fence near the area I was going to dig up worms.

Oh, well.  I can handle Frankie......  (Haven't I said that before?)

I head to the fence looking for an area away from Frankie, With a small container, hand trowel, hand tiller and Iz the turtle in a box, I select an area where soil has built up by the fence, and a little distance from the basking Frankie. The worms love the deep soil and Frankie will be occupied with basking.

Iz is placed on the ground next to where I am sitting.  Iz get's busy scamping around while I dig for worms all the while keeping peripheral vision on Frankie.

Frankie's been eying me, too.  I am doing something in his yard so he considers that such activity must be contemplated, investigated, scrutinized, inspected, engaged, entangled, and possibly ultimately destroyed.  The minute Frankie picks up his shelled-shelf and starts walking my way I grab Iz and hide him back into the box lest Frankie find him.

Frankie inspects as he approaches the area.  He comes across the container full of dirt and worms.

"No, Frankie!  No ramming the dirt!"

Too late.  With one one step Frankie dumps my container of dirt and worms.

"Frankie! Go do something else. There is nothing for you here." 

Frankie stares at me like he doesn't understand English.  The voice tone Frankie gets because after a 30 second stare-down he turned around and headed up the hill. 

Iz gets placed back on the ground next to my knees and I start picking up dirt and worms Frankie dumped.  I take a gander over my shoulder checking to see where Frankie has walk. It's not good.  Just as Frankie gets five feet up the hill, he abruptly halts and stands there.  Slowly he turns his head back toward me like he's just figured something out.

Uh, oh.  Time for Iz and I to move.  It's a scramble to pick up Iz, supplies and what worms I've recovered.  Iz, supplies and I exit quickly to the left and relocate in another area.

Frankie heads back down to where I have finished digging.  Nose to the ground he re-examines the area I just left.  Standing in one specific spot Frankie reaches a conclusion and then he poops.  He takes another step and pees.

Yep.  Frankie has picked up the scent of a turtle:  specifically Iz the box turtle.  Frankie has peed and poop where Iz was sitting.

I make a prudent decision.  Abandoning the current task of digging up worms, Iz gets put back into his box, I pick up the worms and dirt, and we exit.  Just in time because Frankie is heading to our more recent location.

In full retreat, I watch as Frankie reaches our abandoned location.  Oops, I left the hand trowel. Frankie sniffs the unsuspecting hand trowel.  Iz was sitting right there on that spot.  Frankie sits on the hand trowel.

"Frankie! That was a new hand trowel!"  Frankie thinks it's a turtle.  

The exciting discovery of a new turtle scent trumps common sense of what a turtle looks like.  It's the scent of a turtle. A turtle that may well be a female. Trowel is a turtle.

After Frankie has smashed my hand trowel into the ground he heads over to his Home Depot orange bucket, mounts, and humps.

Frankie's busy, I think to myself.  Maybe I can dig up some more worms.  Iz can stay in the container. I retrieve my once concave now flat trowel.  Oh, well.  It still works.  I resume digging while Iz hangs around in his box.

Frankie stops humping in mid-hump.  He looks back my way.

In Scent of a Woman at the restaurant, Colonel Frank Sade says "I detect a fragrance in the air." What bouquet has Frankie detected?  His favorite perfume: Eau de Tortue.

"Frankie has a nose for you."  I look down at Iz in the box, stretched out, minding his own business.  So what if Frankie has flubbed up Iz's sex.  I don't think Frankie cares.

The Colonel said, "If you make a mistake and get all tangled up, you just tango on."

Tango on Frankie, tango on.

A Guide To Big (Dear Waffles...)

Dear Waffles, I've noticed how big you got over the summer.  It happens really fast for sulcata tortoises.  As I am an expert on BIG I thought I would share some things about getting closer to that 100 pound marker.

You're gonna need a bigger blanket.
 

Indoors starts looking a bit small

Indoors gets a little hazardous (for the indoor things, you'll be fine).

Your mom is gonna get tired of picking up these



















You'll end up outside more often but you'll love it!
The buffet is all you can eat!



















Things you used to eat become toys.

You'll start doing this a lot.

Mom will need help getting you in and out of the car.
 


















You'll need a bigger outdoor house.
This is big but 75% is for storing hay and carrots.

It's important to learn that a glass is solid.  If you insist you can crash through but you will need to wear a safety hat....so will everyone on the other side.

 

You got to get yourself a skateboard.

Sloth can't move outside with you but it's okay, there's things to snuggle with.

 
Even big you'll make all kinds a new friends.
If you can't dance just go freestyle. Nobody will mind.



















Best of all, you'll make lifelong friends who love you.

And that famous hiney shot gets more and more awesome.
 

















Love, Frankie

PS Godspeed my friend Michele Renea Wales who picked up her angel wings today.  We love you!

The Story of Bob the Magic Tortoise

Once, not very far away, there was a land of modest fame where a young boy name Prince resided with his Queen Mom and his King Dad.   Prince was a special boy who lived in a spectrum called Autism.  The people didn’t know what this meant, nor could they understand his frequent seizures so they just said the Prince was sick and left him alone. 

Prince kept to himself and never spoke to anyone.  He didn’t understand that he was different he just knew his head was full up inside and he had thoughts no one understood.  His seizures struck like sudden thunderstorms and his mind became chaos and darkness.
 
One day, a magic tortoise named Bob was walking by and saw Prince sitting very quiet in his garden.  Bob walked right up to Prince and they became instant friends.  Bob decided he must stay and live in the garden that belonged to Prince and his family.

The once silent Prince began speaking to Bob, and Bob would talk to Prince. Even though no one else could hear Bob speak, Prince would listen to Bob and understood everything Bob said.  Prince knew this was because Bob was a magical tortoise.

Everyday Prince would bring flowers and clovers for Bob to eat and he would tell Bob about his day at school.  Prince told Bob about the things he thought and he would tell Bob when was feeling bad.  Prince told Bob the thoughts in his head got so jumbled up that it sounded like buffalo stampedes, and his seizures stormed through his head like lightning. 

Bob told Prince a great secret: when you can breathe like all the winds of the world like I do, your thoughts will fall away like feathers and the thunderstorms loose their thunder.  Bob taught Prince to breath in deep like the ocean, to blow slowly like a breeze, to puff strong like a tornado, to breathe warm like the desert, and even blow funny like a raspberry.  Prince began to get better, he could sleep through the night, and fewer thunderstorms happened in his head.

King Dad and Queen Mom saw that their son was happier than he had ever been before and the reason they believed was Bob.  Everyone could see that Bob was helping Prince.  It wasn't long before everyone believed that Bob was a magical tortoise.

Word about Bob the magic tortoise spread far and wide.  A boy who lived outside the realm wanted to know what kind of magic a tortoise could have.  One day he stole Bob from the families’ garden.

The boy took Bob to a mountain top so he could take Bob’s magic for himself. The boy was very cruel and ordered Bob to do magic for him.  Bob became sick as the boy screamed over and over to see magic. When no magic happen the boy got very angry and he left the ailing Bob alone on the mountain. Lost and sick, Bob could not find his way home.

Bob cried and cried for Prince, his special friend.  Bob wanted to go home as he worried that Prince would stop breathing like all the winds of the world and would forget how to stay well.  Bob cried so much that tiny golden tears surrounded him on the mountain top.

Living in the mountains are many creatures, some scary and some wonderful. It is difficult even for a magical tortoise like Bob to know who are friends and who would do him harm. 

A very scary monster came across Bob on the mountain and saw that the tortoise was lost and alone. The monster took pity on the sick tortoise and decided to help him.  He collected all the golden tears that Bob cried for Prince and made a trail of golden tears that started from Bob and went all the way down to the land where Prince lived. 

On that day King Dad and Queen Mom were looking for Bob as they had for days.  They came across the trail of shinning golden tears so beautiful that they knew that they had to come from a magical tortoise.  The two followed the trail up into the mountain and there, hidden among trees and bushes, was Bob, very, very sick.

Bob was carried down the mountain and to a special healer.  The healer understood about tortoises and about magical ones like Bob.  Special herbs and elixirs were mixed to make Bob feel better. Bob would stay with the healer until he got well. 

Since the day Bob went missing, Prince was very upset.  He worried and worried about his friend and he forgot to breathe like all the winds of the world.  Prince was silent once again and his seizures returned like chaos as never before.

King Dad and Queen Mom told Prince that Bob was found but said the magic tortoise could not come home as he was very sick.  Prince grieved to find out that someone hurt Bob for his magic.  Prince knew that Bob’s magic was a gift that not just anyone could have.

While Bob was with the healer, Prince worried so much that he could not sleep and his thoughts were like horses trampling across his mind.  Prince struggled to stay well while he waited for Bob to get better.  Prince needed Bob, and Bob needed Prince.  Magic tortoise and friend struggled to get well again.

While Bob recovered at the healer’s cottage, Prince came to see him when ever he could.  At every visit Prince brought Bob his favorite flowers and clover from the garden but the weak tortoise could not eat any of them.

One day, when Prince was visiting, he asked Bob to please eat one of the flowers that he brought him.  Bob looked up to the Prince and silently said, “I will eat a flower but first you must show me how the wind blows warm in the desert.”

Prince took a long deep breath and slowly blew a steady whistle of air that was warm and soft like the desert wind on a hot day. When Prince finished, Bob said, “Now we will both get better and soon I can go home with you.”  Bob ate the flower Prince had brought him.

Very soon Bob the magical tortoise moved back to the garden with Prince. Everyday after school, Prince would rush to the garden and show Bob how all the winds in the world blew while Bob ate clover and flowers.

Prince and Bob lived happy after that, for everyone knows that turtles can heal boys and boys can heal turtles. There really isn’t magic, it’s really just love, and love is all that really matters.

* * * *

Dedicated to my magic tortoise, Frankie.  Happy Birthday!