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April 9, 2013

Little Squirt

Frankie hates baths.

I didn't realize he hated baths. I thought he loved them.

Frankie needed a bath for Walk for Autism.  That's what Greg told me: "Frankie stinks. He stinks bad !  Maybe you don't think he stinks but he does."

Beaten by Keeper's Nose again!  I can't tell Frankie stinks.  Sure his shell and feet are dirty but I can't tell he smells.

"He smells like animal sewage."  Okay, okay.  I get the point, Greg.  Frankie gets a bath today.

I gather up a bucket and fill it with warm water.  I fetch a tooth brush, soap dispenser, bucket and a sponge.  Frankie is outside sunning so I head out to where he is sitting.

Apparently Frankie can identify what a tooth brush, soap dispenser, a bucket and a sponge look like. Not only can he identify those objects but can accurately deduct what a a tooth brush, soap dispenser, bucket and a sponge mean in his small little world

When he saw me with the tooth brush, soap dispenser, bucket and sponge Frankie took off running.

I've seen Frankie actually run a few times.  This is the first time he's run from me.

I really wanted to bath him on the driveway to avoid getting mud and wetness all over me but Frankie is running toward the backyard. I catch up and stop Frankie by the fence.  The minute I stand up to arrange the  instruments of torture Frankie dug his head deep into the corner of the fence.

Fine, I decide.  We are doing this the hard way.

Isn't funny that this is exactly what Frankie was thinking.  Fine, Frankie thinks, we were going to do this the hard way.

I can't get to Frankie's front because he is dug deep into the corner of the fence.  Fine, I will start on the back end.

Sulcata tortoises can lower themselves really close to the ground.   There is no way I am gonna get to feet or under carriage. I proceed to soap and rub his shell clean with the sponge.  On  tough spots I scrub with the tooth bush.  Every time I get near his feet or tail end he digs in deep.

I try to move to the front of his shell.  Frankie abruptly rotates his back end so I can't reach it.  I swing to the other side of Frankie and he simply rotates his rear end around so I can't past him.

Fine.  We're gonna do this the hard way.

So, with great difficulty and fighting a nearly impossible evolutionary developed shell that says no-you-can't turn-me-over and a kicking madly all the way tortoise I manage to get Frankie turned over on his back.  This is something I don't do lightly.  Tortoise don't like to be on their back.  Frankie doesn't want to be on his back.

Yuck! His bottom shell is dirty!  I proceed to sponge water over his carapace and then start scrubbing away the grime.

Frankie let me know exactly how he felt about being turned over on his back and getting a bath.

It's one of the oldest jokes in the world.  Parent gives baby boy a diaper change.  Just as the diaper is removed the baby boy lets loose a graceful arch of pee all over mom or dad.

Let me answer those burning questions:  "Yes it is possible, " and "Yes, Frankie squirt me."

April 4, 2013

Master of my Domain

I am the master of all I see.
It's a pretty huge place.

I like my leaves
I like my rocks
My staff occasionally adds things

What is this?

This is too small.
This one is great!
Someone clean my pool!
I do this a lot.

This is an awesome slide!
I used this as a kid?  It still works.
Time to cut the grass again....I'll get you started.